Why now? Why so loud?

To whoever wants to listen,

So I have been playing around with the idea of a blog for several years now. Over the last several years I've read some blogs by runners and nonrunners that I've enjoyed. I've always felt that I have had something to say but struggled with a way to say it.  For those of you that know me, you know I'm a loud and super opinionated person.  It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut, and over the years it has gotten me in my fair share of trouble. Ive always had this strong urge to fight for what I think is right and speak up if I think others or myself are being treated unfair or misrepresented. That's why I'm writing this blog. I feel that runners get a bad rap. We have done it to ourselves quite honestly. We spend much of the year holed up going to bed early and training like a mad man. This lifestyle isn't glamorous but it doesn't have to be so mundane and boring to fans. Most runners have been taught to do the talking with their feet and be humble. Well that creates a lot of boring interviews and a lot of boring athletes. We can't all be like Bill Belichick. The sport needs more people like Usian Bolt, Nick Symmonds, and Ezekiel Kemboi that entertain people on and off the track.

With that being said, too many runners don't aim to stand for something or tell a story.  I feel Prefonatine was great at this. He not only aimed to win, and win with style at that, he aimed to impress and tell a story. He stood for something. Everyone in this sport works hard. Everyone at the elite level is talented. What are you going to do to be different and separate yourself from every other athlete out there. Winning alone will no longer do that. You are seeing that with top athletes without sponsorships. And I know this fact has been beaten to death recently in the running community but most still aren't getting the hint. Elites need to figure out the story they wish tell and then find a way to tell it. Much like an artist chooses their different mediums, runners need to find their idenity and find a way to express it.

I have come realize in the last few years that my feet aren't portraying the story I wish to say. Through circumstances outside of my control (2 unfortunately timed relapses with my auto immune disease wegeners granulomatosis) I have trained my ass off for 2 years with almost zero results. So once again I am in the process of trying to pound my body into submission so that I can tell this story, the difference is this time I'm not just going to let me feet talk. I am going to use my other wonderful talent of gab to spread this story. This is what I want to say:

I am BHudg
As much as I try to fight it, it is who I am!
I'm a runner, a fighter, a lover, a hater, a teacher, a coach, a drunk, an addict a bitter old stubborn ass, a musician, a big kid, and above all else a life liver!
Over the last few years I have tried to quit being all the things above at one point or another. I have quit running, twice actually, I have stopped fighting, I have given up on love and shut myself off from the world. I have tried to be a kinder more gently person who forgives easier, I have wanted to walk away from being a teacher and coach of students. I have tried to give up alcohol and drugs. And I have even tried to find peace and stop living a roller coaster life like I do, full of drastic turns. But through all these changes and attempts I have learned that I cannot fight who I am any longer. I do all these things incredibly well. So why try to be something I am not? I have to do things my way, play by my rules, and live my way. I have found peace in realizing that I am who I am because of all these things, so why fight them! Embrace them and live life! As cliché as that sounds I've learned that working hard, doing what's right does not guarantee success and that life for people like me is going to be full of incredible highs and incredibly dark lows. So ride the roller coaster with passion and see where the journey takes you.

So that's who I am. This blog has no boundaries, much like my mouth doesn't know when to shut up. So I will cover whatever I want, say what I want, unfiltered!  I am tired of trying to say things on a nice quite way! That's just not me! Till next time!

All hope is gone!